Dear Recruiting Command,
Please at least try make better choices based on names when putting someone into the service. You did great with Captain Obvious, but have missed the mark on so many others. Last names like Savage and Major should be enlisted. For example: Sergeant Savage and Major Private. The Sergeant I met today should have been a Commissioned Officer. One day could have become Colonel Sanders, but you wasted that opportunity. Sergeant First Class Jackson would have been great as a Warrant Officer: Sorry Mrs. Jackson, I am for real! Priorities, recruiting command. Get some.
(Captain Obvious Photo Via: www.pinterest.com)